Downsizing for Work-Life Balance

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

You've likely noticed that this JobMom has been quite silent for the past few weeks. For good reason. In the past two months I've:

-sent my oldest son off to kindergarten
-sent my youngest son to preschool
-seen Rick Springfield. Twice. Over two days.
-been involved in a major acquisition
-learned that my six-month-old puppy requires surgery for a random eye ailment
-had two serious bouts of bronchitis

...and then some. No really, the list does go on like a bad movie.

The end of summer has always been a time of transition. But this particular season has redefined "rolling with the punches" for my family and work life. This struggle with work-life balance came to a head for me. When I quit my corporate job a few years ago to become a freelance writer, the goal was to spend time enjoying my kids while revolving work around my personal life. But over the past year I let that dynamic change a little too much. And this summer I paid the price with a hectic pace that wore me out.

I determined that there was only one solution: to downsize my workload.

By letting go of several assignments, I'm opening the door to something I've missed: time and focus...for my kids and my work.

This is a long, roundabout way of saying that you are reading my last post as the editor of JobMom. You can continue to read my writing at my personal blog, crazedparent, and at the parent social networking site, Maya's Mom, where I will continue as the site editor. I'll still be writing on the fly for a few print publications. And if I'm really lucky, maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get some personal writing projects back on track. That's the goal at least.

Many thanks to those of you who've been readers of JobMom and watched my journey since January. I appreciate all of your thoughts and comments, but most of all, your time. I know how hard it is find those rare moments to read online for pleasure, and I'm honored that you spent it here.

Cheers.

The Winner of the Coakley Everyday Tote Bag is...

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

...Blondeblogger. Congratulations! You'll be receiving the Coakley Everyday Business Tote Bag in black.

Thanks to everyone who participated!

Giveaway! Win a Coakley Everyday Tote Bag

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

I have to admit, I took great joy in helping my son shopping for his kindergarten school supplies. I'm one of these gals that has always loved new school supplies.

But what about working mom supplies? Don't you feel the need for a cool new bag every now and then?

Lucky for you, we have one -- and you can win it! The folks at Coakley have given us one of their uuber cool Coakley Business Everyday Tote Bags in black, valued at $295.

Want to win it?

Just leave a comment below and we'll pick a name randomly on Monday, September 3, 2007. All comments must be posted by Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 11:59 EST.

Good Luck!

 

Part-Time Work: Tough Choice? Not Really.

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

Does it come as any surprise that more working moms prefer part-time work over full-time work? I'm not going to delve into the numbers and details of this Pew Research report. As we know with all studies, numbers only say so much. But I mean, really, does this come as such a shock?  Any working mom I chat with wants the best of both worlds: to further her career/utilize her education/contribute to the family's income while still being able to enjoy all the wonders of motherhood. Working part time -- when it's done successfully -- can satisfy this goal.

Are you a mom with a part-time work situation? Would you ever go back to full-time work?

I think Self-Made Mom really captures the essentials of a good part-time working mom. An understanding boss, great co-workers, and solid childcare are key to making it work.

The transition from full-time work to part-time work can take time, and you may fumble...I know I did. I actually was working part-time shortly after returning from maternity leave. And I went back to full time because of one reason: I had a difficult time letting go of work on my days off.

My tip? On your "off" days, own your time. Own it. Do not let your employer steal those hours from you. I know this sounds dramatic and harsh, but just trust me on this one. If you let it happen once, it will happen again and again. Those "I really hate to bother you" calls will be happening all the time

I started with a 32-hour work week, but my work-load wasn't reduced to match my new hours. I ended up working on my days off because my co-workers and boss were calling me...and I made the mistake of answering their questions or dealing with their crises. I checked my email. I still had my team-required pager. And I'd respond to pages. It let my colleagues know that even though I was technically "off," I was still making myself available for work. I didn't want them to think I was just another woman "on the mom track." It was ridiculous, I know, but I was a new mom and learning to navigate some very turbulent and biased waters. The end goal of spending more time with my son was never achieved, and I was guilt-ridden (surprise!).

I ended up switching back to a 40-hour work week so I could at least get paid for the work I was doing. But after six more months of chaos and utter sadness and missing my son, I decided I had to either work part time -- and really work part time -- or quit.

I pitched a new scenario to my boss, where my job focus would be different to accommodate a 24-hour week scenario. I had a set schedule. And I made it clear that on my days off, I was completely unreachable. I was no longer going to give them my free time. And, most importantly, I was true to my word.  On those two blessed days off, I turned my cell phone and pager off. I didn't turn on my laptop until the night before I was to return to work, just to make sure there weren't any major fires to put out.  Now, there were special occasions where I did have to work on a day off, typically for a special event. But I usually asked weeks in advance if I could make myself available. I never felt obligated to come in on those days, but because my team  had respected and supported my work schedule, I genuinely wanted to return the favor by helping out. To  me, that was teamwork at it's finest.

If you jump to the conclusion that I was in a position that wasn't essential, you're wrong. I'll say that my "new" job focus ended up being one of the most vital parts of the team.  And I was damn lucky that my manager supported me and let me create this brand new role. I don't share this to toot my own horn; remember, I ended up leaving the company! My point is that you can be a strong and important contributer at work and still work part time.

Here's another secret. While I know you're never supposed to say "never," after working part time, I don't know what I could ever work full time again...even when my boys are both in school. When you work part time, you become super efficient at your job. You get your work done, and you're out.

If you really do manage to tune your job out on your off days, you have time to enjoy life.

That wasn't really a tough decision to make.

Working Moms and Overcommittment: Just Say No.

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

Kelly Watson (Mother Leads Best) at Work-It, Mom! recently wrote a post called Overcommitted, where she takes a look at what happens when you're in a work/life groove and suddenly "mommy kryptonite" gets thrown at you (I love that phrase, mommy kryptonite -- I will be using it often!)...and you're in a tailspin. I've been feeling that way for past few weeks so Kelly's story really struck a chord with me.

In Kelly's case, her Mother's Helper unexpectedly fell through during a particularly chaotic time -- the end of the school year along with a busy work week for mom. She goes on to examine what happened to make her feel like a mom mess. And her answer is one that I believe will resonate with most moms, working or not. Kelly writes:

"I think one of my biggest faults is the tendency to over-commit, especially when things are going well. I forget that life, like the market, has cycles and I am not always going to be at the top."

So true. When it feels like you're routine is fully streamlined, maybe you've found some pockets of time for yourself, and you're still managing to succeed at work and actively participate in your children's school (or daycare) activities, you overcommit. But it's so easy to forget about that silly thing called Murphys Law: "Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time."

Kelly has received -- and offered -- some excellent advice. When that mommy kryptonite gets tossed your way, immediately put yourself on the "just say no" list. Kelly's friends suggested she decline every new personal and work request until her Mother's Helper returned. Now, saying no to work requests may be difficult. It's not like you can say "Sorry, I can't do that report for you." You can set a realistic deadline. And on the personal side, you could certainly turn down requests to host or participate in play dates or parties...just until you get back into your (false) groove again.

Kelly also reminds us that we should always always ask for help when we need it. I used to have trouble with asking for help, but once I hit my wall -- the one that shouted, "Why are you torturing yourself trying to get all this done on your own??!!" -- it became much easier to call in the lefty when I needed a relief picture.

I think the best advice received is one for all moms: "...Live fully in the moment with each action I take between now and then [when her "kryptonite phase ends], so that instead of a worried, distracted, and stressed mother/leader/friend, I am the person everyone needs me to be." I would like to live fully in the moment everyday, not just in those chaotic times. It's easier said than done, of course, because  living in the moment requires great focus. I don't know about you, but sometimes I'm as easily distracted as my two-year-old opening presents on Christmas day.

But I do know that after reading Kelly's post, I'm going to take my own hard look at how I over-commit myself. I know I do it, I want to pinpoint the when and where...so I can stop saying yes.

What about you? Do you over-commit yourself? And what do you do when you get hit by mom kryptonite?

JobMom Working Mom Blogs Webring

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

A little housekeeping on the JobMom Working Mom Blogs Webring.

Those of you who have submitted your requests to be added to the ring: When you apply to be added to the webring you should be receiving HTML code that you need to add the code to your site in order for the webring to work. If your coded isn't added to your site, the webring doesn't pick up your blog and hence, you won't appear in your fabulous directory.

I've emailed several of you with a copy of the code. If you haven't received an email from me,  please sign up again for the webring and we'll start over!

Thanks much!

In the Cube: Tales from Working Mom Blogs

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

I've got summer fever. On top of trying to keep a grip on my family's schedule, my workday makes me feel like a little kid during the last week of school. When I wake up in the morning to gloriously hot and sunny weather -- or cool misty fog -- I want to play. When I pick my son up from summer camp or see my littlest one off with his babysitter, I want to play.

Taking a stroll around the working mom blogs realm I'm glad to find I'm not the only gal with summer fever. And it's making me feel just a wee bit better. Here's what's happening In the Cube:

Career an Kids: Elizabeth has vacation on the brain, too, and ponders how working parents shut off the "work" button and click into relaxation mode. She also offers some good tips to get help get moms and dads into the vacation mood. I like her advice to "Do nothing in 'absolutes,'" as in, "I'm NOT going to check my voicemail/email/crackberry" while I'm on vacation." Oh, the pressure. It is your vacation -- give yourself a little freedom and if checking your voicemail at home is going to make your feel more relaxed, well then, do it. (Just don't go into tailspin if you hear your the voice of your boss.)

The Juggle: Sara Schaefer Muñoz wonders if working parents are taking more vacation time then allocated as part of their paid time off. If you factored in all the times a dad or mom had to leave early from work for a soccer game or daycare pick up, maybe...if those hours weren't made up on the back end when parents are making up for missed work time after the kids are in bed. I know I stayed up many a late night in my previous work life making up for lost "office" time. But I don't consider that taking more vacation time than allocated. As for using paid time off, consider this. When I quit my job, I had a check coming to me for three weeks of vacation. I liked the cash, but wow, I wish I had traveled with my husband and at the time, one son, more often.

Thinking about Getting a Puppy? Here, Take Mine.

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

I'm kidding. Really, I am.

Now if you had told me two nights ago that you were thinking about getting a puppy -- when I was awake at 1 a.m. standing in my backyard while my new puppy, Luna, was going to the bathroom for the tenth time in two hours -- I would have gladly handed her over to you. In fact, I would have begged you to take her. Immediately.

Little Luna, at 13 weeks, has a bladder infection and some sort of weird gastrointestinal woes. I can't exactly be mad at her for needing to be let outside when the urge strikes her (Any woman who has dealt with a urinary tract infection can sympathize with the poor dog.) But I do get mad at myself from time to time for adding a new element of chaos and stress to my already hectic life.

I love my little pup and she is really, really cute, which does make up for the late nights and early mornings with her. And while I knew ahead of time that raising a puppy was going to be "hard work," I had no idea what this type of hard work would entail. Or the amount of stress it would place on our family.

The image of bringing a new puppy into your home is one of Hallmark moments. But the fact is that those Hallmark moments end after that first night at home, when puppy quickly grows from all cuteness to needing immediate discipline and hard training. Especially if the image you have of your puppy five years down the line is one of a grown dog curled up on the floor at your feet while you read a book to your little ones.

Stealing Time for Hobbies

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

There's something about my life being chaotic that pulls me towards being crafty. Over the past month, with our new puppy, my boys and their summer schedules and my husband's new travel routine, I feel like I've been pulled in about twenty different directions and my head won't stop spinning. I find myself pulling out my scrapbooking materials, looking at design books and creating a wish list of projects I want to complete. I get inspired by women like Donna Downey and Cathy Zielske and Ali Edwards. Amazingly talented women and working moms who spend their days creating art. 

I've realized my need to craft comes from a need to pull away from my laptop -- my 24-hour access to all-things-work. Because my work day is like a patchwork quilt, I could spend every free moment writing.

With crafts, it's just me and time with absolute focus on creating pretty things.

Between work and being a mom, it's really easy for hobbies to get left by the wayside -- especially new ones. (It's not all that cool to whip out an electric guitar after the kids are asleep.) And let's face it, work is always there. I could easily work every single night until the wee hours of the next morning. Somehow, we always force ourselves to make time for work. To catch up. To get ahead. (Sound familiar?) 

But you have to steal time for yourself.

Summer Vacation: A Refresher in Efficiency and Organization

Posted by Charlene Prince Birkeland/crazedparent.org

Summer vacation is in full force at the crazedparent house. My five-year-old son, Nol, started his summer camp today and like another mom in my hood, I'm already feeling the pain. It's not that I'm exhausted from driving Nol back and forth from school, or planning our post-school day activities. I actually look forward to all of that because it's quality time with my little guy. And he needs a little mama-spoiling right now.

The pain I'm feeling has more to do with the organizational extravaganza required to keep our entire family in check. When I feel like chaos is about to ensue, I go through a mass organizational fest from closets to calendars. And I start repeating the saying, "A place for everything and everything in its place."

As an independent contractor, organization, efficiency and routine are critical to survival. Just when you're getting a little too comfortable, a little kick in the arse from say, you're child's summer vacation, comes along to add a little discomfort to your flowing work days.

Okay, it wouldn't be honest of me to blame my summer working mama woes on my son's summer schedule. The truth is that on top of his reduced school hours, I'm also adjusting to my husband's new travel schedule and um, did I mention our new puppy? (An entirely separate story, of course). Tack all of that onto one busy work week and well, you've got one mom with a brain that's on overdrive.